..."Whether it's McDonalds, London Zoo or the Olympic torch relay, I really want my kids to remember interesting incidents from their childhood, and want to facilitate this by making sure that they do things worthy of remembering. Even more important, though, is to make their whole childhood happy, secure and worthy of memory."...
..." A recent British study into the age of starting menstruation made alarming reading. The study found that 1 in 6 British girls were having their first period at the age of 8, as opposed to 1 in 100 who did so at the start of the century. ... So I worry that there's a real chance that in a class the size of Tamsin's,
which has approximately 11 boys and 11 girls, one or two of those girls may
well have their first period this year. (And as it's a mixed Grade 2 and Grade
3 class, some of those girls are approaching nine, so statistically it may
already have happened)."...
..."I never was one for the bag so small that it could hold a streamlined lipstick. I have a pathological urge to carry a book with me at all times, sometimes two, just in case I get stranded somewhere without reading material. (Mind you, travelling with young children just fills me with a pathological fear of being stranded, period.) But until I had children, I didn't understand the true meaning of the Big Bag."...
..."When I was pregnant for the first time, people kept telling me that I would automatically know what to do with my new baby when it was born. (This was usually in answer to my wails that I knew nothing about babies). I refused to believe them. I'd had virtually no exposure to babies during my thirty-one years. I didn't even like them very much, and my usual tactic around children was to avoid them at all costs. So it didn't seem very likely that I would experience a sudden rush of maternal instinct at the crucial moment."...
..."Have you got a normal child? If so, congratulations, and maybe you could drop me a line and tell me what it feels like. If, as I suspect, you don't, join the club."...
..."We certainly don't believe that Angus has it, even though the fear of it drove me to surf the Net to find lists of symptoms and neurotically dismiss them. My friend with the ADD daughter, and another friend, have had their hands full recently assuring me over and over again that he is perfectly normal! But I feel that anyone who really does have an ADHD child would be furious that the terminology can be bandied around like that by people who know very little about the condition or about the 'normal' behavior ranges of children."...
..."Just for fun (ho ho) I thought I'd look up 'millennialism' on the Net just now. I've watched a couple of TV program about 'end-of-the-world-isms' and that, coupled with the horrendous weather we've had in South Eastern Australia this last couple of days, plus the storms in Europe, made me think about millennialism a bit. The Net search left me deeply worried - not that the world IS about to end, but about the existence of the nutters who proliferate their ideas in cyberspace."...
..."The politically correct in Australian education circles apparently think that
Father Christmas is all right, though, because he is not a Christian figure. I
always thought he had roots in St Nicholas, but no doubt they are referring
to the fat, jolly, red-and-white Santa Claus figure invented by American
advertising gurus! It makes me worry for the fixture of multi-culturalism if a
symbol of American commercialism is preferred over legitimate religious
symbols! "...
..."We get some strange looks taking young children around art galleries and museums. There are times when it doesn't work. The two to four-year age, for instance, can be a trial if they're not interested. "...
..."At times it feels as though all of society is against the parent. We are accused of bad parenting no matter what we do - if we work outside the home, if we don't work outside the home, and no matter how our children behave. People glare at us if we appear in public with our children - even other parents do!"...
..."Are we made of weaker stuff than previous generations? Are we too self-centered to cope with the rigors of life that our great-grandmothers had to take for granted? I would prefer to think that we are now educated to employ choice. What do you think?
"...
..."We've finally made it! The move we have been planning for over two years, and talking about since before Tamsin was even conceived, has been made. We are back in our native (for Graham) Australia (my adopted homeland since the age of seven). Our lives are in chaos, our children are disoriented, and although we speak the same language we have no idea how anything runs here any more. Home sweet home!"...
..."I passionately feel that I never want my children to have to understand the horrors of war. I'm not a pacifist in the sense of believing that we should never fight back against an aggressor. I've been through that stage, admittedly, as a naïve teenager, and realize that it's pointless, to say nothing of being an insult to the memory of those who have fought in what they have considered to be just causes."...
..."At one point I was telling Tamsin how much fun she would have in Melbourne, and she said dramatically, 'If it isn't fun, I'll be DISASTERED!' It was so funny. She can be a real drama queen and I think she swept her brow at the time. I knew what she meant, though. It is a big responsibility to be building up an experience and to have a small person relying on my interpretation of how it will be for her."...
..."Make the most of their childhood; they grow up so fast. You hear
that one a lot when you have a baby. There you are, wishing
fervently that the baby will start sleeping through the night, or
eat finger foods, or walk, or talk, or go to school to give you
some peace! And your mom, or someone else of that generation,
will say wisely that you shouldn't wish their lives away, that
you should value their babyhood and not hasten their growing up."...
..."And then, of course, you settle into the new routine, and you forget that anything else has ever happened. It was a real shock, looking back over those photos, and remembering life with Tamsin when she was an only child. It made me think of the many wonderful memories I have of that time, and the faint feeling of regret I had when I knew that I really did want another baby, but that things would never be quite the same again"...
This month's Bearpit column is actually an email from the author's husband, Graham. Judy is laid up with the flu and this was the very inciteful email that he sent to explain his stand-in life as Mr. Mom!
"..I would prefer to reflect upon personal things for this past year. Every year brings milestones to us. Work, friends, family,
home - something is bound to have happened in at least one of these areas that has meant something significant to us at some
time over the past twelve months. "
"..So I enjoy Christmas, and make the most of the opportunities. I don't care if the children do think it's about Barbie Dolls, they will grow up to understand that it's also about being close to people. "
"...The trouble with childhood, at least one of them, is that adults know that everything will be all right. A child cannot know that, because the adult's grasp of the future is based on extrapolation from known facts and experiences. The well of childhood fears is a very deep and dark place. We have all been there, but how many of us can remember what it is like? " ...
"...We no longer live in a society where we can expect to be near our extended family for all of our lives. In many ways this new society is a better one. We may be prepared to trade off living with grandparents for the increased space and better housing that we have now. But we should make every effort to keep those family relationships going. They have so much to teach our children.
" ...
"...I
would worry that my children would grow up to need constant outside
stimulation in their adult lives, too. It may seem a little pretentious to
suggest that adult self-reliance and strength of character stem directly
and solely from being bored during the school holidays! But I do think it
is a sign of the times when we feel obliged to bombard our children with
elaborate entertainments from the moment they are born." ...
"Disciplining children is a fraught subject these days. Last century children were routinely beaten, locked in dark cupboards, terrorized by brutal parents or nannies. Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child was a phrase imbued with real meaning. Nineteenth century parents did genuinely believe that their children must be terrified into submission for the good of their immortal souls and their future as well-adjusted adults.
" ...
"It taught us a couple of lessons. Manners do matter, even in stuffed toys. If you encourage children to believe that their toys are real, you must enforce standards of behavior that you would expect from real people. And everyone should have computer skills, even toy bears!" ...
"I've been thinking about gender a lot recently. I grew up a fairly 'hard line'
feminist. Since I was a teenager I've always scoffed at the notion that there were
any inherent differences between the sexes. I conceded that men were physically
stronger than women, but as I didn't want to be a firefighter, it didn't seem to
matter." ...
Judy Edmonds was born in England, grew up in Australia and is married to Graham Peters, a fifth-generation Australian. From 1990-1999 they lived in England - it was meant to be a two year working holiday but it took on a life of its own. They returned to Australia in May 1999, and are enjoying readjusting. Judy worked as an academic librarian until the birth of Tamsin in 1993, and since then has been a full-time mother to her and to Angus, born 1996. She is now embarking on a new career as a freelance journalist. Her writing can be found all over the Internet now, and she is the owner/editor of an Australian parenting EZine, Chloe & Jack.
if you have any questions or comments!