Christmas Musings: Column From the Bearpit

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Christmas Musings
I've just been leafing through various mail order catalogues deciding what to buy for the children for Christmas. I love this bit! I used to enjoy combing the shops for Christmas presents for Graham and my mother. Now it's the children who get all the time and effort devoted to them, while Graham and my mother still get nice presents, but they are fewer and cheaper than they used to be.
I expect that if I were still earning my own money, things would be different. But we are struggling a little to live on one income, and therefore any presents for Graham are in effect being paid for by himself. We go through this charade every time, of me asking him for money so that I can go and buy him a present. I haven’t yet quite got the stage of saying, just go and buy what you want and I'll wrap it up and put it under the tree for you, but that cannot be far away.
I get a Child Allowance from the government here, some money every month for both of the children. It isn't a lot, but it pays for some of their clothes and birthday and Christmas presents. So at this time of the year I always feel that I have some money earmarked for them, which I can't in all conscience spend on anyone else, and so what do I do? I SPEND, of course!
The trouble is, they both have everything already. They never need anything, but I can't see that one going down very well. 'Sorry, Tamsin, you already have all the clothes you can wear, and books you can read, and toys you can play with, so we've decided not to buy you any presents this Christmas.' Tamsin has far more clothes than she can actually wear, especially given that she wears school uniform five days a week until 3.30pm in term time. I cannot resist buying lovely girl's clothes, so I suppose it's therapy for me, at least.
Angus has inherited so many of her toys that I cannot honestly say he needs anything, either. We always buy them books, because we are a bookish household, and having loads of books already has never seemed like an adequate excuse as far as I'm concerned.
But of course, children always want toys, the more the merrier. Tamsin wants another Barbie Doll, so I suppose she's better have one. My mother rang to ask what Tamsin would like for Christmas. Before I could say anything, she reeled off the things she had already bought - a video, a personalized cup, a couple of other things - so I managed to suggest one book, that I really did want her to have, because I know that Grandma would have been mortally offended if I had suggested that actually, nothing else at all was needed.
Last Christmas Tamsin had a roomful of presents and Angus hardly had anything. Being eighteen months old, he didn't care, but cheerfully played with everything she had as well as his own. A year on he might actually notice. He's starting to say 'Mine' a lot, regardless of whether or not the object in question really is his. So he had better have a few things that really are his, I suppose.
That's the trouble with Christmas. It shouldn't be solely about presents, but it is these days. Tamsin will take part in a Nativity Play at school, they will do things in class about the real significance of Christmas; but despite knowing all about the Baby Jesus, it still boils down to whether or not Father Christmas will bring her another Barbie Doll.
We aren't churchgoers, though she goes to a church school. (No, we're not being hypocritical, it's the only primary school in town). I guess she is being taught the religious side of Christmas, and I expect I will read her some relevant Bible stories around the time itself.
I actually prefer to think of Christmas as being significant in the way you think more about family at this time of year. It's been hard for us, these past eight years, being away from family and friends on the other side of the world. This year, our ninth in England, my mother is coming to stay. Tamsin is beside herself with excitement. Next year we hope to be spending Christmas in Australia, if our planned move goes OK. For all that people complain about having to spend Christmas with boring relatives who fight all the time, I think that it is a very important time to think about family.
I spent one horrible Christmas alone in a hostel in London. I didn't really know anyone, and everyone in the hostel had gone home for Christmas. I didn't want to confess to my parents in Australia that I wasn't doing anything for Christmas, so I made something up. I didn’t want to confess to the hostel staff, either, so I went out and walked around for hours. There is no public transport on Christmas Day in England, so all I could do was tramp the streets of London looking in through lighted windows at everyone else having a good time. It was horrid, the worst Christmas I ever spent.
So I enjoy Christmas, and make the most of the opportunities. I don't care if the children do think it's about Barbie Dolls, they will grow up to understand that it's also about being close to people.

Judy Edmonds was born in England, grew up in Australia and is married to Graham Peters, a fifth-generation Australian. From 1990-1999 they lived in England - it was meant to be a two year working holiday but it took on a life of its own. They returned to Australia in May 1999, and are enjoying readjusting. Judy worked as an academic librarian until the birth of Tamsin in 1993, and since then has been a full-time mother to her and to Angus, born 1996. She is now embarking on a new career as a freelance journalist. Her writing can be found all over the Internet now, and she is the owner/editor of an Australian parenting EZine, Chloe & Jack.