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At Least We Have a Choice I recently watched the film 'Jefferson in Paris' on television. I can't vouch for its historical accuracy - except for the French Revolution bits, which I do know quite a lot about, and which seemed accurate enough in a filmic sort of way. I enjoyed it very much and I hope that it increased my store of knowledge a little. I am ashamed to say that my knowledge of American history is limited - try me on British, European, Australian history and I'm a fount of information, but sadly lacking in the American department! (I'll add it to the list of things that I ought to do something about). But what really struck me was in the summaries at the end where we were informed what had happened to the principal characters after the end of the time portrayed in the film. Martha Jefferson, who had declared a passionate desire to be a nun, was taken home to America with her father to be the lady of his house. She married her cousin and had twelve children. TWELVE CHILDREN!!! Not bad for someone who wanted to be a nun. I hope she was happy in her marriage and that she enjoyed her children. I know even less about her than I do about her father. (OK, I did know who Jefferson was, just not the finer details of his life!) She must have been as tough as nails to survive twelve pregnancies and childbeds under the medical conditions of the time. Even with today's very different medical expertise, I wonder how many of us would be able to endure twelve pregnancies and births. I know I wouldn't - I've had pre-eclampsia twice and would presumably have died the first time round, or certainly the second if by a miracle I had escaped it the first time. But then I may not even have been here to worry about it - my mother would have died of pre-eclampsia herself while pregnant with me. It is a sobering thought to realize that this condition remained the main cause of death in late pregnancy and childbirth until the middle of this century. Even today it may well rate the same, although obviously much fewer deaths are caused by it. Martha Jefferson probably had no choice in the matter. In fact it sounds as though she had precious little choice anywhere in her life. She wanted to be a nun, but Papa dragged her away from the welcoming arms of the Catholic Church with great horror and took her back to America to be the mistress of his house. It is difficult to determine at this distance whether he was more horrified at the thought of her being a Catholic per se, or just of losing control over her destiny. I know nothing of the circumstances of her marriage. I hope that she fell in love and that she made a choice to marry her cousin. It was commonly done in those days (unlike in these days of genetic monstering) and certainly features in many sentimental novels as a romantic and delightful choice to make. But I doubt that the production of twelve children had anything to do with free will. I think we tend to forget how recent reliable contraception is. Contraception in one form or another has been around as long as men and women have been sneaking off behind the cave to make whoopee while Mama wasn't looking. However its effectiveness was often in doubt. And as for ease of use and attractiveness - well, I suppose crocodile dung and honey might have turned some Ancient Egyptians on, but YUK!! It is popularly believed that contraception didn't exist until the twentieth century, but a study of the matter shows that it did and was more commonly used than we might expect. A whole series of books could be written on methods and social mores (believe me - I've read some of them!), but basically the desire to prevent or at least postpone conception has been around for a very long time. But this didn't really become possible, in the sense that we think of it today, until the Pill was invented in the sixties. That was what really gave us the choice to prevent or to space out our pregnancies. I know that not everyone can or wants to take the Pill. There are still questions to be answered about its long-term health implications. There are other forms of contraception more acceptable to some people, with varying success rates (many very good). WE HAVE A CHOICE. That is what matters. It means that people like me, who really shouldn’t have any more children because of the risks to my own health, can be pretty sure of taking care of that. I would rather be a mother to Tamsin and Angus than risk them losing me for the sake of another sibling. It means that people who really don't want children, don't have to have them. It means that we aren't subjected to the relentless grind of pregnancies that our great-grandmothers often had to endure. It sounds selfish, precious even, to say that many people can only cope with one, two or three children. Martha Jefferson didn't have the luxury of saying that. Mind you, she was rich and probably had an army of servants to help her with them. There must have been many poor women who had to raise twelve children without that sort of help. A recent tragic case in Western Australia may be relevant to this point. A 25 year old mother of five (the eldest 8 years old) killed herself and the children. Newspaper reports are conflicting at this stage, but what no one seems to have mentioned is the possibility that she couldn’t cope with five children at that age, and finally, appallingly, cracked. Are we made of weaker stuff than previous generations? Are we too self-centered to cope with the rigors of life that our great-grandmothers had to take for granted? I would prefer to think that we are now educated to employ choice. What do you think?
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